Peer Review for Task Four

1) Does the paper contain sentence fragments and/or run-on sentences?
2) Does the paper contain quotes from the text.
3) Are the quotes set up correctly in alignment with MLA style?
4) Does the paper contain supporting details?
5) Has the writer included personal examples used as support?
6) Is the connection carried throughout the paper beginning at the introduction through the conclusion?
7) Does the paper contain analysis of the text?
8) Does the paper contain summary of the text?
9) Does the paper contain a Works Cited page that is set up in MLA style?
10) Is the paper three full pages in length?
11) Is the paper set up in the correct format?

Self evaluation task 4

What is the thesis for your paper?

List the main points you make in your paper.

What was the most helpful advice you received from your peer evaluation?

What was the most helpful information you received in class for your paper?

How many drafts of this paper do you think you wrote and how/when did you write them? For example, did you compose at the keyboard, did you write lots of notes to yourself, did you pre-write or outline, did you write in small chunks of time or sit down and produce an entire draft at one sitting?

What would you do differently with this paper to make it more effectively, or what did you try to do that you just don’t think you got a good handle on?

What are most pleased with about this paper?

Questions for Reflections and Writing

My relationship with books is complex. I am not the person to just pick up not only a book but a piece of literature and begin to read it. There are very few books that catch my attention as reader, and make me want to increase the amount of reading I do. I seek out the book s I like to read if I am in the mood to read that certain type of book. This would be a book of some sort of action or adventure. My parents would always read to my siblings and me as children, and I actually enjoyed reading until reach the sixth grade. This is when I would have to begin reading aloud in front of the entire class. I didn’t start back reading until I reached high school because it was mandatory for some of my classes. Unlike Rodriguez in The Lonely, God Company of Books, I never felt that I had to read books to become more intelligent in the classroom.  Now that I am attending I may find myself doing just as Rodriguez in the essay, trembling while looking at all the books I am expected to read.

Analysis to a topic that Kozol examines.

Do you think our educational system is effective or do you think changes need to be made?

I think our educational system is very effective, but does need a few changes. Our education system is effective because it gives students more than enough time to grasp the information. This is only if they are taking full advantage of the educational system. The changes we need are in the curriculum and the discipline. The curriculum needs to be more interesting something that’s grabs the student’s attention. No exceptions when it comes to behavior you do the crime you must do the time.

Response Let Teen-agers Try Adulthood(For You To Analyze)

 Botstein is writing for the older audience in the essay “Let Teen-agers Try Adulthood”. Botstein structures his appeal by saying that school sports are dominating the studies in school. He also says that the educational process is too long and that years should be taken off of it. Botstein appeal about sports I agree with because athletes' are given certain privileges because the scored the game winning touchdown at Saturdays game. I disagree with his appeal about the education process because if you let kids out of school at a to early age the will be to naive and immature to survive in the “grown up” world as they call it.

Response to Where College Fails Us

My experiences of college are all great experiences that have open me to new things. One new thing that I experienced in college was having the freedom to whatever I want when I want to do it. It’s such a relief not having to get permission from my parents to do things I want to do. Another great experience that I’ve had is visiting other colleges and meeting different people most from the opposite sex. The reason I am here in college is first to get my degree in physical education and minor in athletic coaching so that I can pursue a carrier of being a high school physical education teacher and  football coach. The second reason I am here is to get away from home my parents and younger siblings specifically and to have fun. My mother told me the people I meet here in college I will know for the rest of my life, as I meet new people everyday  I’m starting to think my mother’s right. To me college is worth the time effort and expense if you make the best out it. By this I mean having fun, going to different events on campus, going to parties, going out with friends, and not just staying in your dorm room. Life is not just all work

Self Evaluation

What is the thesis for your paper?

My mother showed me that just because you may not finish college directly after high school, you can always return to get a greater education.

List the main points you make in your paper.

·         Why my mother dropped out of college

·         What made her go back to college

·         How she managed a family and school

·         The outcome of her going back to school

What was the most helpful advice you received from your peer evaluation?

The most helpful advice I received from my peer evaluation is to give more detail on why my mother’s mom was about her dropping out of school.

What was the most helpful information you received in class for your paper?

The most helpful information I received in class was to create an outline to help with writing my paper.

How many drafts of this paper do you think you wrote and how/when did you write them? For example, did you compose at the keyboard, did you write lots of notes to yourself, did you pre-write or outline, did you write in small chunks of time or sit down and produce an entire draft at one sitting?

I wrote three drafts of this paper, and when I did I had to write them in small chunks because I would really try my hardest to translate my mom’s story.

What would you do differently with this paper to make it more effectively, or what did you try to do that you just don’t think you got a good handle on?

To make this paper more effectively I would give more details on how my grandmother felt when my mother dropped out of college, and I would also give my mother a better introduction.

What are you most pleased with about this paper?

The thing I am pleased with about this paper is writing the paper its self .I thought It would be impossible for me to write this paper but it turned out it was easier than I thought .

A writer's Response to Becoming Educated

My early expectations of my college courses were that the college classes were going to be so hard that I would not want to be attending school very long. The reality of this was the classes were not hard at all they were challenging but not anything that I thought they would be. Yes there are two main similarities that both Jordan and I encountered in our college experience. The first similarity being that we both had not taken school seriously before getting to college, for me this mostly being socializing are just not doing the work given to me. The second similarity being that I had to read, and study more than I had ever done in my entire learning carrier. This meaning that I would not just have to read but read with understanding and concern of what I was reading.     

Response to Interview Questions

1.     What questions still remain?

I have only one question that still remains and that is; What carrier path would my mother have  chosen if she had not dropped out of college ?

2.     How did it go?

The interview went great the interviewee answered all the questions with great detail.

3.     Where did you conduct it?

The interview was held in North St.louis, Mo. at my home.

4.     What did you learn?

That the interviewing process is harder than it looks to be.

5.     How do you intend to transition to the writing process?

I am going to look at all of the examples given to me and take advice from them ,and or ask for help in my workshop.

6.     What concerns do you have?

The concerns that I have are how I will  write my thesis and conclusion.

7.     How do you expect to overcome them?

I’m going to look at the thesis Ms.Chastain provided and try to model my thesis off of the example for my conclusion I will just tell what I learned from the interview and how my mother life is now.  

Response to A Partial Remembrance of a Puerto Rican Childhood

The cautionary tales that I heard in my family were mostly about someone trying to take advantage of you. My grandparents, aunts and uncles would always tell us these stories of how people almost, or did take advantage of them. The tales would always catch my attention because of two major things they used behind their story telling. The first thing that would grasp my attention is the passion they told the story with. It was if they wanted you to feel as if you were the one taking the lost are getting scammed. The second thing that would grasp my attention is how they would project their voices, they would sure that every person in the room could hear every word they were saying. The way they in emphasized the warning is by raising their voices, if you were on the outside looking in you would think we are in trouble getting yelled at. The lesson that was to be conveyed is not to fall for any and every thing someone says to you. Every person you encounter in life is not genuine and there to help you some people get a thrill of seeing you fail is what my grandmother would say. Also it was to help us  recognize weather people were in our life to help us are to sabotage  are lives.

Memorable experience

An experience that was memorable in my childhood was when I won an art contest for the NCAA Final Four basketball tournament. The day that I received the news that I had won the art contest was an odd morning. The day before receiving the good news I was suspended for the act of insubordination and disruption of a school classroom. The next morning while I was doing my siblings choirs as a punishment I received a phone call from my mother. When the phone rang it was like the world had stopped. I right away thought it was my mom telling me that my principle had extended my suspension. Instead my mother in a excited voice informs me that I had won the art contest. Although I was on a suspension but this was one of the happiest moments of my life. I felt like a little kid Christmas morning waking up to a ton of presents under the tree. It seemed as everyone was just so proud of me for wining this art contest that I seriously didn’t think was a big deal. I also I got a lot of new friends seeing that I won tickets for the whole class.

I think this event was so memorable because I was something that I was really interested in which is sports. I got to really see what I was like to play a division 1 sport and to be a coach. I also meet a lot of the players and all of the coaches. I could have easily sold the tickets I had to the final four games but I guess it was a life changing experience that made it so memorable .

interviewing and writing about for Task Two.

Ø  Why are you interested in these subjects?

   Im intrested in this person because she was one of the first people i knew to go back to college. 

Ø  What makes him/her interesting and unique?
    Because she manages a family of five and she some how finds time to finish school

  What sort of questions would you ask and why?

    Why she decided to go back to college?
    How does she manage her time ?
    Why didnt she go to college a soon as she graduated?

Ø  What sort of problems do you think may arise for Task Two?

    I dont think any problems will arise.

Ø  What do you anticipate? Why?

     To find out what some of my moms dreams were so i can visualize what life would have been like if i were born later on in her life. 

Ø  What questions do you have for Task Two?
      How am i going to write an interview style paper with out using the question, answer format.

Self Evaluation

What is the thesis for your paper?

. He is a significant person to me because he taught me how to take responsibility for my own actions, how to treat young ladies, how to be a hard worker, and the value of money and how to accumulate it . 

List the main points you make in your paper.

The major points of this paper are How to take responsibility for my actions, How to treat a women, The true meaning of hard work, The true value of money and how to save money.  

What was the most helpful advice you received from your peer evaluation?

The most helpful advice I received in my peer group is to read my papers aloud before turning them in.

What was the most helpful information you received in class for your paper?

The most helpful information I received in class was to give more details when telling stories about my experiences in my paper .

How many drafts of this paper do you think you wrote and how/when did you write them? For example, did you compose at the keyboard, did you write lots of notes to yourself, did you pre-write or outline, did you write in small chunks of time or sit down and produce an entire draft at one sitting?

All together I wrote two drafts, both drafts were written at the key board. When ever I wrote my drafts I wrote them in one session.

What would you do differently with this paper to make it more effectively, or what did you try to do that you just don’t think you got a good handle on?

What are most pleased with about this paper?

The thing I would do to make this paper more effective is give more descriptive details. The thing I am most pleased with is the way I improved my paper after it was edited by my professor.

On Becoming a Chicano

My racial identity to me is African American. Others in society identify me as just a black person with dreads. Most people even see me as threat because my appearance and the way they think I live my life. This is all because I’m 230 lbs 5 foot 11, with dark skin and dreadlocks. As a young black male I go through a lot of struggles but one of the major I faced as high school student is learning in class and still seeming cool to my friends. I guess being smart was not the coolest thing you could do in cool to some of my friends. Another dilemma I faced in high school was learning how to speed read. I found myself having a very hard time getting a clear and strong understanding of what I read if would speed. As time went along I notice steady improvement in my understanding when I read more rapidly. Also in my home between my parents and siblings we would all use incorrect grammar are as most people call slang. When I started to progress in school my teachers would begin to correct me when I started to make use of incorrect grammar. So it became a habit to correct myself when began to use slang.


My experiences are similar to Rodrigues’s because he had to deal with racial profiling as well as I did. When he was viewed by society are individuals he was just another Chicano are in my position another black person. They would always think he was the same as every other person from his cultural background. One of the other major ways our experiences are similar is because I in some way had to learn a new language. That language being correct grammar, when you make it a continuous pattern to pattern to use something you fail to remember that you are doing it.

Introduction Letter

Hello my name is Joshua Haynes I was born and raised in North St.louis,Mo.. I graduated from Central Visual and Performing Arts High school, with a major in percussion. I have been attending visual and performing arts schools since the 5th grade. In middle school I travel the country playing on a drum line with the Carr lane VPA Spirit Squad .Along with being a great musician I was also a great athlete in school. I played a variety of sports including baseball , basketball ,soccer ,and football. I like to say all of these experiences have made me a well rounded person.


I decided to attend Missouri Western State University because of all the relatives and friends I had attending this university. I also decided to attend Missouri Western because the university offered the degree in which I plan to pursue my carrier in .That field being the Physical Education and Athletic coaching, going on in life to be the best sports coach there has been.

I some times like to read it all depends on what type of reading material it is. I enjoy reading action books ,sports magazines ,and mystery s . These are the only type of books that motivate me to read. My past experience with writing papers has made me grow to dislike writing papers. I think my problem with writing papers is I over think about writing when I should just write them. I also think I dislike writing papers because of the 3 and 4 page teachers assign to students ,but if I plan to progress in school I know I will have work on writing papers.

Some others things you should know about me is that I love all types of music whether it be country to rap or pop. I also enjoy some classical music ,but two of my favorite musicians are Stevie wonder and John Mayer. I also love working with children this is y I work at a summer day camp and plan to be a Physical Education teacher at a public school in St.louis.